Top 50 Stupid Football Quotes

Footballers are not brain surgeons and here's the proof. The wit and wisdom of some of the best players ever to kick a ball. To be honest, I had trouble keeping it down to 50 stupid quotes, but enjoy.

They are in no particular order.

"Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals." - PETER WITHE

"I've been consistent in patches this season" - THEO WALCOTT

"In the end, Rosicky initially did well" - ANDY TOWNSEND

"The thing about goalscorers is that they score goals" - TONY COTTEE

"The last six games of the Invincibles season were the most pressurised, because we were under pressure" - RAY PARLOUR

"He's got a lot of self-belief in himself" - GRAHAM BEECROFT

"They were numerically outnumbered" - GARRY BIRTLES

"Not to win is guttering" - MARK NOBLE

"And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0." - IAN DARK

"I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way." - RON ATKINSON

"Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me." - TERRY VENABLES

"Reading won't have the confidence to be confident" - PAUL MERSON

"If we played like this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistent." - BRYAN ROBSON

"The one significant change is in fact the second significant change" - JONATHAN PEARCE

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - DAVID ACFIELD

"Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson." - RON GREENWOOD

"I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona." - KEVIN KEEGAN

"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip." - JOHN MOTSON

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." - RON ATKINSON

"I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." - RON ATKINSON

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?" - STUART HALL

"The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day." - CHRIS JONES

"You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals." - ALAN GREEN

"Matty Jarvis had acres of time there" - STAN COLLYMORE

"It's an unprecedented precedent" - CLARK CARLISLE

"...but Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals." - TONY GUBBA

"If you closed your eyes, you couldn't tell the difference between the two sides" - PHIL BROWN

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - RON ATKINSON

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - TERRY VENABLES

"They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that." - KEVIN KEEGAN

"A game is not won until it is lost." - DAVID PLEAT

"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet." - DAVID BECKHAM

"I never make predictions, and I never will." - PAUL GASCOIGNE

"I couldn't settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country." - IAN RUSH

"There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way." - TERRY VENABLES

"A contract on a piece of paper, saying you want to leave, is like a piece of paper saying you want to leave." - JOHN HOLLINS

"We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us." - RUUD GULLIT

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." -BARRY VENISON

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7." - DAVID BECKHAM

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." - MARK VIDUKA

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - NEVILLE SOUTHALL

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - STUART PEARCE

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." - MARK DRAPER

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." - ALAN SHEARER

"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." - MITCHELL THOMAS

"Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match." - IAN WRIGHT

"Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." - STEVE LOMAS

"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable." - PAUL GASCOIGNE

"He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa." - RONNIE WHELAN

"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important." - BOBBY ROBSON

WHICH WAS YOUR FAVOURITE? COMMENT DOWN BELOW!